At church on Sunday, they gave a gift to all the moms. Complete with corny joke, they offered a 100 grand candybar to each mother.
While taking up the offering, ’service specialists’ [we don't have ushers...] walked down the aisles with white KFC like buckets filled with candy bars. If you looked like a mom they’d give you one. Sometimes they’d ask, “Are you a mom?” This system is flawed in so many ways.
1. I guarantee there were women in that room about to break out in uncontrollable sobbing because they didn’t know how to answer the question, “Are you a mom?” They carried a baby in their womb for a brief time. But lost the child before ever holding him in their arms. They never changed diapers, never cuddled a newborn, but they hoped, they dreamed, they planned on taking cupcakes to kindergarten and playing at the park. They grieve for a baby that few even recognize existed. And then… they had to wonder, “Am I a Mom?” How could they answer the guy with the candybars… Maybe they were smart and just didn’t come to church that day.
2. Then there are the women who wish they could have babies, but haven’t found Mr. Right yet or are unable to get pregnant. They’re motherly, nurturing, and yet… as they hope and wonder and pray… they’re ignored… No Candy Bar for You.
And then of course there are less serious issues:
3. I watched as 3 different ’service specialists’ tried to give a young woman a candy bar. Each time she answered more irritatedly that she is not a mother. You could see the offended look in her eye. “How Old Do You Think I Am?”
4. Those same 3 service specialists passed me by, not offering me my Mother’s Day treat. Don’t deny a mom of two pre-schoolers her well deserved chocolate! I don’t care if it’s actually a compliment… a suggestion that I look young. I dragged two screaming kids into church today… Give me my D**N candy bar!! [No I didn't cuss in church... goodness let me be real for a minute.]
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You know it must be Mother’s Day when you cry yourself to sleep while reading a parenting book offering tips on “Extraorinary Ideas for Everyday Discipline.”
Whoa. At our church they ask all the Mothers to come up front. This still leaves those women behind that are trying to decide whether to stand or not. At least your not leaving some guy to figure it out.
One year I visited a church where they gave carnations to all the women as they walked in the door They figured those who were not mothers might be someday or had one they’d like to honor. The preacher than had all the women stand and he said some words about the various kinds of mothers ie those who had lost children or struggled with not having any still had the heart of a mother. He addressed SundaySchool teachers and nursery workers and how they had the heart of a mother. His main message was that God had blessed the church with all these women.
Comment by Jami — May 12, 2005 @ 11:51 am
Church should not be a source of pain because of a man made holiday (or should I say woman made) I like the idea of every woman being honored.
Comment by Conda — May 13, 2005 @ 6:02 am
Amen! With you all the way. What a train wreck!!
I’ve had my own awkward mother’s day experiences.
Sometimes I just want to say, “Think, people! Think!”
Comment by Judi — May 13, 2005 @ 8:28 am
.I’ve had similar thoughts before. Or if you are pregnant at the time, do you get recognized then? Or does the baby have to be there too?
I remember at one church when I was younger they would always honor the oldest mom, newest mom, mom with the most kids, etc. Most of the time, some of the same women would get honored again and again. Then there are some churches that pick a mother of the year, this is hard too. Sometimes it embarasses the person they pick and makes everyone else feel like apparently they don’t measure up. So many things that we do, end up being hurtful instead of encouraging. yuck. it makes you feel sick inside.
The Church of Christ does a special “woman’s day” once a year, a couple of weeks before mother’s day. They honor ALL women. The women decorate tables or booths for different women, brides, mothers, grandmothers, single moms, teachers, etc. etc. It is a great way to recognize and appreciate the many different women out there.
I so strongly feel for my close friends who have lost their precious babies, and for my couple that have and are struggling with infertility, praying that God would give them one chance to be a mother. Having wanted that their whole lives. And here I am, so blessed with one and one on the way. I wish I could make it better, I wish it could be “fair”. I want them to know how special they are in my life for making me think and being there for me.
Comment by hillery — May 13, 2005 @ 10:27 am
The special woman’s day is the best idea that I have heard.
Comment by Conda — May 13, 2005 @ 7:40 pm