It turns out, I’m not who most people think I am. You probably aren’t either.
I have noticed several unusual things about myself… perhaps I will admit some
of them here:

1. Today, I received a Paula Abdul: Forever Your Girl CD in the mail. I ordered
it on purpose. I paid actual money for it… I’m trying to listen to it… but I
CAN’T HEAR IT.

2. I went to the doctor this morning because I’ve been sick FOREVER. She gave me
some antibiotics, told me what allergy medicine I should try and then proceeded
to pull my brains out through my ears. [QTIPS are evil...] She prescribed some
ear drops to help get the wax out of my ear. [gross]. I was too cheap to pay
over 10 bucks for the drops so I tried a few home remedies… [Don't put
hydrogen peroxide in your ear.] Now I can’t hear with my left ear. It has been
this way for hours. I was fine before this all started and then… it became
this stupid nightmare… Eeek I can’t hear! Google, Google! Pour this in…
Google, Google! A few drops of this… Google, Google! Blow dryer… blow dry
the ear…. Google! Google! I CAN’T HEAR!

3. Our loan for the restaurant was approved today! That means the bank or the
SBA now owns both of my children… do you think that means they’ll babysit on
June 3rd?

4. The other day I lamented to Joel, "I’m really frustrated that I don’t know
how to make my own MP3 player." Joel replied, "Are you intoxicated?! Just Buy
One!" It’s not the same.

5. On a similar geek note, I’m rather concerned that I don’t know enough about
PHP, SQL or CSS. This fact actually keeps me up at night… Does a single person
reading my blog even know what I’m talking about?

6. It also bothers me that I’ve forgotten most of what I learned in Greek and
American Sign Language.

7. I have Cheez-It crumbs on my shirt.

8. I wish my mom had a blog.

9. I wish my husband had a blog.

10. I kill plants. If you’re going to buy me a plant, I WILL KILL IT.

I CAN NOT HEAR!