I said my next Chaplaincy post would be about the the decision process.  I need to give a little background first. This means using Christian Jargon with words like Call, Ministry and Brother…

Military or Ministry?

When I was little, I daydreamed about being an officer in the military. I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone this until now.  It seemed silly.

As a freshman in high school, I planned on attending the the Air Force Academy. To meet the academic requirements, I got special permission to take extra science and English classes during my Sophomore year. Trying to improve my physical condition, I’d run down the front road leading from the Oklahoma/Texas state line to our house.

Sometime during that school year, my parents invited a missionary family to stay a few days at our house. That brief visit with Craig and Jadine Fritzler and their beautiful daughters left an indelible mark on my soul. Not long after, I felt an undeniable calling to the ministry. That summer, I spent a life changing week at a Full Gospel youth camp in Wyandotte, Oklahoma. During the Wednesday lunch service, “Brother Freddie” spoke about being called into the ministry. My heart burned within me. I KNEW that he was talking to me… That God was calling me.

Instead of the military, I would go into the ministry.

I got back to school that fall and changed my schedule. I didn’t need those extra science classes after all. Instead of going to the Air Force Academy, I decided to attend a bible college. [I stopped running down that front road too.]

I majored in Biblical Studies at Evangel University and graduated in 1999.

My last semester at Evangel included 19 credits of upper level theology and philosophy. It was too much. Overwhelmed and burnt out, I decided to take a little time off before starting my Masters program at the Assemblies of God Theological Seminary.

Six years later.

I still haven’t taken a class at AGTS. Over the years, I’ve spent time in various ministries; small groups, women’s ministries, writing etc. But I’ve spent most of my time NOT "being in the ministry."  That is a terribly uncomfortable place to be.

Knowing that I’m not doing what I’m supposed to do just eats away at my spirit.  It hurts my relationship with God.  And when that relationship is lacking it makes me feel less equipped to minister… So I don’t… which makes me feel further from God… which …well it’s a terrible cycle.  And I’m so very tired of it.

Once or twice a year since graduating from Evangel, I would think of joining the Army Reserves as a chaplain. I thought it was a great way to pay for seminary, and a cool job to have one weekend a month, I’d visit GoArmy.com and mention the idea to Joel.  I never got past that last step.  Joel wasn’t in favor of the idea.  Our kids were too young.  Having both of us in the Army Reserves was too risky. Since I knew Joel wouldn’t approve, I never let myself think too seriously about being a chaplain.

On December 1st, Joel called me from Fort Jackson and suggested that maybe I could become an Army Chaplain.  I contacted a recruiter that day and spent the next four weeks making a decision… But of course, that’s tomorrow’s post.

P.S. Last week, I ran down the front road that leads to my parent’s house.