Three months ago I wrote this in my journal while reading Romans. I used the word “scared” three times and “fear” twice in only three lines of text.

I put the notebook aside and didn’t write in it again, until yesterday:

“Three months later God… I’m still scared. The debt, fear, uncertainty. They’re overwhelming. Uncertainty seems like an understatement.

Three months ago, I had no idea what difficulties lay between then and now.

We’ll be in South Carolina for another three months. I have no idea what happens after that.

What is this time in between? Purgatory? A park bench offering a moment of rest and a chance to catch my breath? Preparation? If so, let me not waste it. Two weeks have come and gone. Wasted? Let me not waste another day.”