Through out our first decade of marriage, one thing always made me uncomfortable. I hated it when Joel talked to people about our finances. I didn’t want people to know how much he made, how much we paid for our house, or car or leather couch. Oh and please, don’t tell people about the student loans!
These things are personal, and I was ashamed. I knew our house cost much more than the ones our friends bought, and that embarrassed me. We don’t need a nice big house in a certain part of town and we definitely don’t deserve one. How many people could have been fed with the money we spent on that leather couch? Don’t even dare to ask how much the throw pillows cost! I’ll lie to you and say I don’t remember… maybe I don’t… I’ve tried to repress that memory.
I’m naturally embarrassed by excess and ashamed of debt.
Joel’s talking about money again. He’s using numbers.
Big, ugly, profane numbers.
He’s not just telling close friends either. He’s telling everyone. EVERYONE. He’s shouting out to friends and family, Guess what? We owe HALF A MILLION DOLLARS! Half-a-million-dollars… say that slowly. $506,189.05. Try to get a grip on that number. Careful, it’s heavy.
So. Am I embarrassed? Upset? No. I’m proud of him. He’s telling people this for a reason. We’re going to get out of debt. If we can so can you.
We Are Never Going To Borrow Money Again.
And I pray that you won’t either.
Debt is sin.* It is slavery.* If our story encourages someone to tear off the chains of debt, if it helps to free just one family… Then all of this pain will have been worth it.
I praise God for the mess that we are in.* Because I know He will be glorified in it. He will use it for our good… and for the good of those we owe, if they love Him.*
Please read Joel’s blog. He’ll be posting every day, describing our journey out of debt and encouraging you to join us.
* Romans 13:8 - “Owe no man…”
* Proverbs 22:7 - “The borrower is slave to the lender.”
* 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 - “Give thanks in all things.”
* Romans 8:28 - It’s not a cliché
Amy, I just checked out your website and Joel’s blog. I am moved to tears to see how God is working in your lives. He answers prayer, but often the process is painful.
Dave Ramsey changed our view on finances. We paid 20K in debt in 3 months. We paid another 3k in the last few, after I quit my job! I started working again because there is only so much ramen noodles one can eat!
Rhonda
Comment by Rhonda Martinez — 3/16/2006 @ 10:21 pm
Rhonda! I’ve been thinking about you all day. Thanks for coming to the site.
Comment by Amy — 3/16/2006 @ 10:41 pm
You guys are so gutsy, I envy you. Only a couple of people know that Joey and I got in over our heads over the last year. My family has NO clue, for many reasons. Joey’s family doesn’t know either. Mainly just Amy and one other friend. And anyone who might read this. It still turns my stomach to think about it or talk about it. We too are biting the bullet and paying as much as possible towards debt. It is hard that our family doesn’t know, because they wonder why we don’t do things that they think we can afford.
Gotta go, baby crying.
Comment by Hillery — 3/16/2006 @ 11:52 pm
Amy, don’t be embarrassed. So many people have gotten in over their heads while chasing the American Dream. You should be proud, not of your debt, but of the strength with which you are facing it. I pray that someone, somewhere will read Joel’s blog and be inspired to face their debt with that kind of strength.
Comment by Patti — 3/17/2006 @ 1:25 am
I’ve found that blogging about something is the best way to take action. Another friend of mind has done a “Blogging to Black” series where she writes about how they’re working toward moving out of debt.
I hope all goes well for you. You’re an inspiration to many people.
Comment by Heather — 3/17/2006 @ 8:37 am
I am just so proud of you guys. You have a great attitude. We have some debt as well, and I think Joel’s comment about adding it up is a good one. In your mind you can think I owe a little here and a little there, but if you add it up, it is one pretty big number staring back at you. So many people think they have no debt, but have a house and a car payment. If you used someone else’s money to buy something, you are in debt. Here’s to all of us who are going to join you in getting out and staying out!
Comment by Debbie — 3/17/2006 @ 3:25 pm
Amy, and Joel, what an amazing story. I hope and pray you gain and maintain the discipline to erase your indebtedness. God will provide.
After my wife and I married, we tallied our combined debts and it was a pittance compared to yours, something like $36,000. But we wanted to have kids in about three years, and we wanted to raise them with mommy at home instead of at work. But we knew it would be so much harder to do in debt. So, we started by taking out a $1000 signature loan at our credit union to pay off the lowest debts first. Simultaneously, we signed over a percentage of each of our paychecks to automatically pay down the signature loan every time we got paid. And we continued making minimum payments on all our debts except the highest interest debts. On those we always paid as much as $50 extra. Then, every time we paid off our signature loan, we borrowed another $1,000 and wiped some more cards and debtors off the map.
And we stopped using credit for daily expenses.
Interestingly, this hardly changed our lifestyle because we only spent what we had. Having less didn’t seem to mean enjoying life less. We just did different things. Instead of theaters, we rented DVDs. Instead of buying books we went to the library. Instead of eating at nice restaurants, we went to the Waffle House.
Three years later, the week before our first child arrived, my wife excitedly came to me with the news that we were officially completely debt free.
Wow. What a spine-tingling announcement! And what a way for Jennifer to quit her job and take care of her baby. God has been good.
Since then, we’ve maintained manageable debt, such as when we bought a house. We owe a lot for a house, but we also consider our house an investment and we were careful to buy the best location in the neighborhood (we’re adjacent to a park and a pond … we have no streets in front of our house–just nature, and our resale value has already gone up dramatically).
Now, if we can just save our money!
Regards
Rich
BlogRodent
Comment by Rich Tatum — 3/18/2006 @ 11:04 pm