I’m starting to think about this holiday season and the upcoming family reunions. For most of my extended family, it will be the first time that I’ve seen them since joining the Army.
I anticipate a lot of questions. Disapproving questions. The kind of questions that imply more than they ask.
I get these questions a lot. From friends, and strangers.
I don’t know the answers. I doubt there is any answer that would satisfy the questions… the unspoken questions and the underlying accusations of neglect. “How could you?” “How dare you?” “What about the kids?”
I just don’t know how to answer. How can I explain this Call? Even if the questioner does believe in God… or something so mysterious as a call… they can’t believe in a god who would call a mother into the military.
“God wouldn’t call a mother to do that.”
He wouldn’t? Why not? Which god are you referring to? The god of comfortable, self-centered mediocrity? You see, I’m tired of serving that god.
My God sometimes calls mothers to do uncomfortable things. Things that don’t make sense. Things like putting a baby in a basket and hoping the river will carry him to safety… Things like giving birth to a son only to see him die on a cross thirty-three years later.
Motherhood does not serve as an exemption for service or sacrifice.
What about the kids?
It’s all about the kids. Who am I to sit here comfortably and hope that someone else joins the Army and protects my children? How can we slap a yellow ribbon on our bumper and say we support the troops… when we’re unwilling to send our own family, our own friends, ourselves?
What would that teach my babies? My goal as a parent is not to guard my children from pain. If given the choice between keeping them safe or making them strong, I choose the latter. I want to raise up a man and woman who are not afraid to serve, to sacrifice, and to trust God in any circumstance.
I’m not saying that everyone should take the road we’re taking or that we’re any better than anyone else because of it. But I know, that this is what I have been called to do. And I will not let my children watch their mother ignore a call like that.
That would be neglect.
Hoo-ah!
Comment by Jami Leigh — 11/20/2006 @ 10:42 pm
whohoo Amy, Your are so right. I am proud that you are following the call of God, and as scary and hard as it can be to leave your children and to be put into harms way, it is so much better that feeling horible because you know your not were you are suposed to be. Hoo-ah Amy and Joel I am so proud of you.
Comment by Julieann — 11/21/2006 @ 12:19 am
Very nice thoughts Amy. I look forward to the day you trade the squashed bug on your collar for a cross. You’ll be an asset to the Army and the chaplaincy.
Pro Deo et Patria
Comment by Mitch — 11/21/2006 @ 8:24 am
I am glad that you are answering God’s call. There are many brave moms and dads serving so that I can feel a little more safe as I tuck my kids into bed tonight. And for that, I am thankful.
Comment by Debbie — 11/21/2006 @ 8:45 am
Amy, thank you. Thank you for articulating so well the mystery of our call.
I look forward to serving with you.
Pro Deo et Patria
Comment by Patti N — 11/21/2006 @ 9:13 am
BEAT ARMY!!
I mean, OO-RAH!!
11 days, 2 hours and about10 mins. until the the boys from Canoe U punt the Grunts!
And on every day BUT that day (or at least those 4 hours) I am behind you all the way!
Comment by Judi — 11/21/2006 @ 11:20 am
Amy…I don’t know how else to say this so I’m just going to say it: ROCK ON.
I know, that phrase feels kind of eighties-sounding. Sorry.
But, you have informed your decisions with Scripture and I commend you for it…ROCK ON.
Comment by Mark Hunsaker — 11/21/2006 @ 11:56 am
Amy,
Many do not understand The Call…but God has allowed you to do just that. Understand; and obey.
Many are searching for their place in this world…and God knows your heart. He gave you the choice; and you accepted.
Many will spend a lifetime wondering what more they could have done to make a difference…while God waits. And you didn’t wait; instead, you took on the challenge to MAKE a difference for Him.
God bless you on your journey. The U.S. Army, and God’s Army, are better off because you answered The Call.
Comment by Richard — 11/21/2006 @ 1:09 pm
I can’t say anything better than what has already been side by these other people. I agree with them all.
Comment by rosey_krh — 11/21/2006 @ 3:54 pm
Amy you are a great mom. No one knows her children better their mother. You know what is best for YOUR children. I’m proud of you guys. You both have faced many tough decisions in the last year and you’ve came through it way above the call of duty.
Many prayers for you as I know being away from Joel is going to be hard. You are tough and will come through this even stronger.
Comment by Amanda — 11/21/2006 @ 10:43 pm
Hi Amy,
Have missed reading your blog as of recent. Really enjoyed your realism in this post. I hear your feelings. I hope it goes well. And you are right who are we to say God doesn’t call mothers. We are so limiting. I support you, and would be glad to take care of the kids if you get called up to go overseas. But I know I am far away and yours don’t know me.
Also I am your guardian delurking angel from revgalblogpals, to let you know this is delurking week over there. Go leave a blogstone at your pals blogs to let them know you have been there. (0). Hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving. I’ll try to get back by again to read your thoughts.
Comment by revabi — 11/22/2006 @ 5:32 pm
Just came back to read what is perhaps my favorite post of yours. Hope to talk to you soon.
Comment by Patti N — 6/21/2007 @ 6:51 pm
Amy Jo, I reread it. Sorry I didn’t call today. Talked instead to a friend who is going through a painful divorce. So sad. Please pray for my friend and her family. I’ll try to talk to you after that interview. We have our FTX starting Tuesday. I think it’s supposed to snow. Brrrrrr!
Comment by Patti N — 11/24/2007 @ 9:10 pm