Either that coffee is really weak or I actually do drink water. I awoke at five a.m. still feeling yesterday’s caffeine swirling through my veins.

Back to studying Cross-Cultural Ministry.

Tonight, I sleep.

I’ve been up since 5 am doing homework. I only have three assignments and a final to do tomorrow… and a couple books to finish reading. Then I’ll spend the following week writing a few papers and I’ll be FREE!

I got my grade for the Crisis Trauma Grief class… it was in fact a little traumatic. I got an A minus. Which unfortunately ruined my 4.0 GPA. I’m a little concerned about myself because I was actually upset about that. I’m thinking maybe me being upset about getting an A minus in a class where I did all of the work in three days and turned two book reviews in late is kind of crazy. But I can’t help but kick myself for turning those two papers in late. I wonder if that’s what made the difference. I wonder if I need to seek professional help for worrying about such things. [I wonder if people will take that sentence seriously and leave comments referring me to their favorite counselor...]

My merciful professor granted me a week long extension for my Cross-Cultural paper. I didn’t even ask for it. He just gave it to me. When I got the email telling me I had until June 8th… I actually cried. That’s how relieved I was.

Seriously, for someone who doesn’t cry… I sure have been crying a lot lately. Everyone has been telling me I ought to give it a try… So I decided maybe I would. I even bought Kleenex for my purse just in case… Hey, if I’m going to become a crier, I’m going to at least be a prepared one. [See Dad's comment...]

This new found crying thing must have opened up a world of hidden female hormones… all of the sudden I eat chocolate too. I don’t know how that happened, I’m sure the two girly activities must coincide somehow. Gasp! I’m wearing pink. Right now at this very moment I am wearing pink.

Wait, back to the chocolate. The car wash on Kansas Expressway and James River has Take5 candy bars in the refrigerated vending machine for 25 cents! Oh yeh, I bought four. I don’t even eat candy… but you know if I’m going to become a chocolate eater, I’m going to at least be a prepared one.

On this Memorial Day, I can’t help but wonder how many families are for the first time placing a flag on a loved one’s grave. How many families, for the first time, no longer see this day as BBQ’s and a trip to the lake? Almost 1,000.

I’ve thought about this post for days, wondering what words I could say or what video I should link to. There are no words.

Max Lucado says, “When words are most empty, tears are most apt.”
—

I’m looking at a photo of a fallen soldier. A man from Springfield who I never met. I preformed a memorial service for him for a class I took in February. We could do any generic funeral sermon, but I wanted to remember a local hero. I printed an 8 1/2 by 11 picture of him in his uniform and taped it to the podium. The assignment is over, but I just can’t bring myself to throw away his picture. So I keep it by my desk. Reminding me to pray for his family and for our soldiers.

Remember him with me:

SFC Randall L. Lamberson

Unit: Army, 1st Battalion, 506th Infantry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assult), Fort Campbell, KY
Family: Dana, daughter Kelsi and son Evan
Home: Grew up in Springfield, graduated from Kickapoo High School.

Randall Died in Balad, Iraq on April 10th, 2006 of injuries sustained when a makeshift bomb exploded near his Humvee during combat operations in Ar Ramadi west of Baghdad.

Randy’s wife said of him: “Randall believed in what he was doing. He felt the future of Iraq lived in the children. Each time he looked in their eyes he saw hope for their future and their freedom. He was a beloved husband, father and a great leader to our Soldiers.” - Dana Lamberson

Randy gave his life for these children. For his family, for his country, for us.

He truly lived the Army Values.

Randall Lamberson lived a life of Selfless Service.

A Soldier who served with Randy said:
“We often say overly flattering things about people after they pass away. Things that may be a bit of an exaggeration or stretch of the truth. That would be hard to do to this man. Any praise that can be given to Sgt. Lamberson is well deserved and well warranted.

During my time in his platoon, I observed a man that was worthy of all the respect we could give him. He never ever demanded respect. You just wanted to give it to him. He had a rare kindness, not often enjoyed in the Army. I am fortunate to have spent some time with him here on earth and will try to learn from what I saw in “Sgt. Lamb.”

When we think about Randy, we’re not just reminded of the Army Values but also of a verse:

John 15:13
“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lays down his life for his friends.”

This is the love that Randy had, for his family, for his country and for his fellow soldiers. In the ultimate act of selfless service, he laid down his life for ours.

This scripture not only reminds us of the sacrifice that Randy made, but it tells of Another man who laid down His life. It is because of Christ’s sacrifice that we have hope.

That is why an obituary is NOT the end of Randy’s story. That flag draped coffin may have been the last goodbye for his family, but we have Hope. Hope that says it was not the last time they will hold him.

Please remember SFC Lamberson and his family today.

–
Additional Links:

KY3 News Story
Newsleader Story this Memorial Day

Recently my husband of 12 years came home from Afghanistan for 15 days of R&R. We’ve lived apart for 11 months. We won’t see him again until February. 264 days. God Willing.

Those two weeks we spent together, just the four of us, were surreal. A family, a mother, a father, a brother and a sister just being together at home. Eating dinner at the same table, in the same time zone. Watching TV. Going to church. Cheering together at a baseball game, standing with hands on hearts during the national anthem…

So many families were there with us. How many of them realized what a privilege it was for them just to be together?

I drove by our old house yesterday. It hurt a bit, but not as much as it used to. I still miss the backyard and the flat top stove and the comfortable life we had.

I recently found someone linking to my husband’s blog by saying,

“If you had a total debt of $556,848.38, could you make yourself a man …”

I don’t know the person who wrote that sentence, but his words meant a lot to me. They made me proud. My husband is a real man. A man who stands up and does what’s right even when it’s hard. And sometimes it is very hard.

This debt has changed him. It has changed me and changed who our children will become. I believe these lessons are worth the tuition.

Panama Lot 12686 - “At City+ a lively, bright cup with snappy acidity. At FC+ a darker tonal range, plumy.”

With an exotic name like that it’s got to be good… Tom didn’t spend much time writing the label explanation on this one either. The review isn’t even on Sweet Maria’s site anymore. I had to use Google Cache to find it. I wonder if that says anything about the quality of this cup?

Guess I’ll find out when I drink it…

[next morning]

Yeh, it’s not so great. I’m kind of relieved. I would have hated for it to be the best coffee I’d ever had, knowing I couldn’t buy it ever again… - Wow that’s very philosophical. Let me think about that… Would I really forgo something great simply because I knew I’d never get it again? Would you? For some reason that reminds me of a Garth Brooks song.
—
“I could have missed the pain
But I’d of had to miss the dance ”
—
One thing that is definitely worth missing: My new coffee grinder. I really, really don’t like my coffee grinder. It’s so very inconsistent… well that’s not true. It consistently crushes my lovingly home roasted coffee into sad chunks and pointless powder. Plus it’s really loud… and I wake up really early. I’d love to have a nice hand crank coffee mill. One that is adjustable and good for everything from a French press to Turkish coffee.

While looking for a high quality, low price coffee mill [yeh like that's going to happen] I ran into a Web site that makes me wish I knew something… anything about tea.

Check out Adagio Teas.

Speaking of tea reminds me of my Mom and Patti. I think of mom because I think she’d like the stuff Adagio sells. I think of Patti because she gave me a cute little teapot for my birthday… which reminds me of a conversation Rachel and I had last night. She made a very true statement during our IM conversation. She said that having good online friends is bittersweet.

It really is. While they’re such a blessing, it really does hurt a bit to not be able to just go hang out with a good friend every once in a while. Here I am sharing life every day with friends that live across the country and we can’t share a cup of coffee… or tea.

Life really would be better if I could go to breakfast at Hardee’s with Patti more often. And really, these late night conversations with Holly would be much better with pizza.

I have eight days to complete about eight weeks worth of assignments plus take a final and write a 10 page paper on a topic I haven’t chosen yet. That’s just for one class… I also have to complete the paperwork for my military practicum.

I don’t really have a good excuse for being so far behind. Yes, I was at officer basic for six weeks of the semester, and I didn’t do a bit of homework during two weeks of Joel’s R&R. But really that’s not why I’m so far behind.

The real issue is time management and focus. In the last three months, I’ve wasted countless days. When I did attempt homework, I wasn’t able to focus. I just miss my husband. Missing him distracts me. Perhaps I should have been prepared for the side-effects of deployment. I should have known I was overestimating my coping abilities when I signed up for three classes and Chaplain Officer Basic.

It’s not like the deployment distractions caught me by surprise… Last semester, I actually wrote a paper about this.

You can read it here. The paper is about ministering to families during deployment. It covers the emotional cycle of deployment and the anticipatory grief that many military spouses deal with.