Daughter: “Whine whine whine.” knock knock knock
Me: “Who is it?”

Daughter: “Mommy!!!”
Me: “Who is it?”

Daughter: “Momeeee!!!”
Me: “It can’t be Mommy, she’s in here. Who is it?”

Daughter: “It’s Sarah.”
Me: “Sarah, what do you need?”

Daughter: “I need Mommy!”
Me: “Try looking in your closet.”

Silence…I tell my husband, “I think I’ll be a little disappointed in her if she leaves.”
A minute passes… maybe two… followed by footsteps and a loud knock on the door.

Daughter: “YOU LIED TO ME!”

We invited a friend of mine to join us and had a wonderful time. We got our first foul ball which was incredibly exciting.

Seeing the young soldiers reminded me of why I want to be a chaplain. Sarah made a few friends. These future MPs represented the Army well. I’m very proud of them. They ate an INCREDIBLE amount of food. I’m going to need a huge snack budget when I become a chaplain…

Then we got serious and she prayed that Jesus would fill her with his Holy Spirit. She asked the Holy Spirit to help her be like Jesus, to show her what to say, what to do and where to go.

Not only was it cute, but it was a big deal. Sarah rarely prays out loud. She’s really growing up.

I’m so thankful for her friendship, it’s a daily reminder that God must really love me.

Forever Friends by Rachel Harmon.

Here’s what she got:

This little Sandisk Sansa Shaker MP3 player is way cool. It has a speaker and two head phone jacks. Transferring music is much easier than on my ancient Rio. I’d be tempted to steal Sarah’s new player but… it’s pink and looks like a salt shaker.

Me: “I will never understand her.”

Rachel: “You say potato….she says, ‘What if I had a potato that lived on my head and had a pink purse and sixteen kitty cats that lived in the flower pot by the igloo?’”

Yesterday she sat on the counter and told her Uncle David, “Daddy’s not here. Every time I go in his room, I look, and I see that he’s not here.”
–

Please pray for all the Daddies who can’t be home today. And all the little ones who miss them.

“He wasn’t really here you know… It was just a dream.”

She spoke of her Daddy. Though we hadn’t been talking about him, she was thinking about his recent time home on R&R.

“It was a dream,” she said. “A good dream.” “I wish he would have stayed one hundred days… But, he wasn’t really here.”

Jeremiah said, “It landed right outside on OUR deck.”

Sarah said, in a very excited yet mythical voice, “When a red cardinal comes to our house that means Papo Bolivar is coming back to the baseball game!”

Jeremiah shook his head showing his disbelief. I motioned to him to keep his doubts to himself. Let the little girl dream.

P.S. Papo Bolivar played for the Springfield Cardinals during their first season. Sarah was two and in love with Papo. After 2005, Bolivar left Springfield with no forwarding address. He’s not playing pro ball anywhere. Even the sports writers wonder what happened to him. I doubt anyone misses him as much as Sarah does though. She talks about him almost daily.

“No, I’m a nocturnal animal.”

Sarah poses for a photo in her pretty pink raincoat. This picture is for her Daddy.

“What kind of bug is that?”
“Does it eat people?”
“Is it dead?”
“Is it glued to the window?”
“Does it have eyes?”
“Can I thump it?”
“What is it’s name?”
- I answered, “You get to name it.”
Sarah thought for a moment and replied, “I’ll name it, Go Away Bug!”

I do not understand four year old girls. Perhaps a different statement would be more accurate: I do not understand girls. They’re so very emotional and … girly. Mine is anyway.

I’ve tried to talk to Sarah about Joel being deployed and me leaving for officer training. She never really said much. Then tonight, I showed a moment of weakness. I told her I was sad and that I felt like crying. She broke. She cried and cried and told me all about how upset she was when I left her. She said she’s scared because she doesn’t know if her daddy is coming home. And she’s worried that he might not brush his teeth at night…all of his teeth might fall out. And she is scared that I’ll go back to Army and climb another wall. Through sobs she asked me if a mean guy with a gun pushed me off that wall! She wanted to know if the bad guys shot at me when I was at For Jackson. She said that they always shoot at her in her dreams… they come out of a black house with a yellow roof that she saw at Jackson and in her dreams.

Such a sad, scared little girl. All of my earlier attempts to talk with her failed because I was trying to talk to her like I talk to Jeremiah. Logically. That doesn’t work. When I finally showed some emotion, she told me everything.

Oh. I never thought of that. Never. Seriously, someone should clue me in on how to be my daughter’s mom. Maybe teach me how to braid hair while you’re at it.

—

“Sarah, glue is not the answer to every question… Tape is.”

“Sarah! What are you doing with that tape?”

It’s actually not bad if you pick the old gummy bears out.

As we were walking to the car, Sarah lamented, “Everyone is named Sarah!”

She decided to change her name. She looked around the car for ideas.

“Seat Belt!” She said we should start calling her Seat Belt. Jeremiah didn’t like this idea AT ALL. He has an unnatural disdain for nicknames and Seat Belt sent him right over the edge. He tried to tell her how much he likes the name Sarah… but she would have none of it. Desperate, he started to suggest names that are better than Seat Belt.

Thinking this was a good way to keep them busy while we drove home, I suggested some outrageous names. Eventually I told them to try to think of flower names. Jeremiah suggested Daisy. Sarah loved it.

Three days later, she’s still going by the name Daisy. She just told me that she changed the icon by her computer login… to a daisy. She signs her pictures and letters… Daisy.

She even told the lady at the County Clerk office that she has changed her name.

I told her that I would call her Daisy if she stops being a kitty cat.

Oh and by the way… It’s just Daisy. Not Daisy4.

Sarah had an all girl princess party at a coffee house. Hillery made the treats. Judi brought princess gear. And everyone spoiled my little girl.

“Don’t Leave Daddy!” Besides attaching herself to his leg, Sarah also thought that untying Joel’s shoes might be a good way to keep him from leaving.

I dread peeling her off of him at the airport in a few weeks.  Of course, I probably shouldn’t tell you when Joel is mobilizing… but I can tell you that it is too soon.